I recently had an opportunity to expand my Tribe. Now I don’t want to boast, but I already had a pretty amazing tribe of women who love and support me. Over the decades, this fabulous group of women has called me on my shit, supported me through life’s losses, challenged me to be better than I was, and accepted me where I was at.
Over the years, as I have moved across the country, I have been blessed with new members of my tribe. I remember when my husband and I were discussing moving from San Diego (where I had lived for 15 years) and he asked “Are you really willing to leave your friends?” I confidentially told him that my friendships would survive the distance and that I would find “light-minded people” wherever we went.
And the good news is I was right. Through two major moves (Arizona in 2002 and Missouri in 2008), my tribe has grown. There are now women across the country that love and support me. I don’t always get to see them but I know that they are there. All I need to do is reach out and their love and support will surround me.
So when I had the opportunity to attend a local women’s retreat weekend, I wondered if I really needed to go. Wasn’t my tribe large enough already? But a little voice inside of me told me “try it, you might like it”. It turns out there is always room for more members of your tribe!
Part of the weekend was a ceremony where we literally and figuratively “had the backs” of our sisters. That feeling of being supported by a tribe of women who “had my back” continued for weeks after the retreat. I am so glad that I decided that I was “allowed more”! More love, more support, more connection, and more everything.
So if you are looking to start to create or expand your tribe, here are some steps you can take:
- Find things you are passionate about.
For me, it started with Nia (www.nianow.com). I started taking and teaching Nia in 1999. Dance is a real passion of mine and Nia allows me to express and explore that passion. I have continued to be part of the Nia tribe over the years, in three different states, and it has always provided a space for me to meet “light-minded” people.In addition since my job has also been my avocation, work has been a great way to meet people who are passionate about helping heal and change the world one life at a time. - Find a group who you are spiritually compatible with.
Church or spiritual community “shopping” is encouraged. Find the community that supports and fills your spiritual cup. As society becomes more “spiritual, not religious”, we need to create spiritual communities that can fulfill the important roles that organized religion once did. If an organized religion is your thing, find the one that sings for you. - Learn something new.
Taking classes not only taught me new things (like astronomy, weight lifting, silk painting, yoga and other cool things) it also allowed me to meet people I wouldn’t have met in my “normal” life. Learning new things not only expands our skill set, it also expands our social interactions. - Be open to new experiences.
Because I was willing to try attending the Women’s Retreat, my Tribe was energized and expanded. So when the opportunity to try something new presents itself, listen to that little voice that says “try it, you might like it”.
Whether it is a women’s retreat, a class, a concert, or other activity, be open to the experience and give it a try.
